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June 18, 2020

Tuning in deeply to your child

Having a baby is one of the biggest transitions you will ever go through. I want to help you prepare for this so that you can thrive alongside your child. Here is a link to more resources to help you to do this.

Today I interviewed Jane West, a somatic physiotherapist therapist on the importance of connection and how to release trauma from the body in order to get into a more connected state with our children, our selves and the world around us. You can find out more about her work here: https://www.quantahealth.co.uk/

I feel that at the heart of good parenting is the ability to enter a state of deep attunement with our children. Even as adults experiencing this level of connection can be very healing for our nervous system and help to bring us into balance. Strong attachments effect the way the brain forms.

Find calm for your baby

As babies and children we need to experience co-regulation before we can self regulate. It is easier for caregivers to offer this experience if they are able to self regulate. If we are able to bring ourselves back to a state of balance effectively we are able to experience more joy and benefit the people around us.

In learning how to regulate ourselves it’s important to be aware of our somatic sense, a good first step is just tuning in to ourselves and reflecting on how we are feeling. This can help us to notice to what kinds of situations cause us to react. Sometimes when we overreact it can because of trauma lingering from an earlier time or because our boundaries have overstepped. Being more in tune with ourselves can help us to discern what our needs are or what we feel.

This too shall pass..

It’s important to know that although some emotions can be painful they will pass. There is an interplay between the sympathetic nervous system (drives action) and the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and relaxation). The vagus nerve controls the parasympathetic nervous system and puts the breaks on our adrenal response and regulate heart rate. Deep breathing and chanting can help stimulate the vagus nerve to send messages to the brain and heart that it is safe to relax.

Overwhelm is the result of things happening too quickly, too much or too soon.

We explore the idea offered by Rupert Sheldrake and others that the mind extends beyond the physical body: that we can achieve a state of coherence with others and that this could be part of how we help our children to regulate their emotions. In quantum physics there are examples of non local connection, for example there is now evidence that birds use quantum entanglement in order to navigate. Roger Nelson has done scientific studies on the effect of consciousness on matter which you can find here.

Jane is offering workshops and one to one sessions to help us to manage stress when we are feeling less connected, valuable during this time of lockdown.

I am offering free nurture sessions for new and soon to be parents, here.

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